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It’s a thin line between Romance and being Cheesy. Romance is not about cards with hearts and cupids.  That may be fun, but that is not the core of romance.  A lot of girls and most guys, I  speak from experience, are not a fan of the cheesy-hearts-everywhere stuff. Romance is about cultivating a deep connection with someone.  It’s not something that just happens, it’s something that grows over time.

Here are 5 tips to avoid the trap of becoming cheesy in romance:

Spread your effort over time

Don’t go overkill on romantic gestures on Valentine’s day and then neglect your partner for the rest of the year. Romance is a marathon, not a sprint. If you do too much in one day it becomes cheesy.

The thing is, you can never pinpoint an exact moment when you fall in love with someone.  Attraction can be instant, but true love happens over time.  It’s the small things you do every single day that matter.

It’s the experiences you have together, the small messages you leave in special places, those smile you put on the others face.

Listen, remember and act

Listen to your partner. We all heard this advice.  The thing is, just listening is not enough.  You should remember small things or write them down if you have a bad memory like me.

But most important do something with these small bits of information you get from your partner.  I didn’t understand this myself for a very long time.  But actually acting upon these small things will make a romantic gesture something very personal and intimate.

Make your partners favourite childhood dessert, book that surprise trip he/she wanted to do. It’s really those small details that you remember an do something with that will touch your partners heart.

Avoid the clichés

Maybe the biggest danger of becoming cheesy is to follow the clichés.  But it is totally understandable that so many people fall into this trap because they see these romantic gestures in TV shows or Movies.  There is where they learn about Romantic gestures. So they copy it. Then they fantasise that their partner will react like the actor.  Well sorry, the real world doesn’t work like this.

Especially around valentines day, you can fall into the cliché trap. Just because society expects you to do “something” for Valentine’s day.   The hearts card, eating out or giving a ring.  Not that these are bad things, but it often lacks creativity, personality and the effect of a surprise that make these kinds of experiences extra special.

Put in creativity

Quite the opposite of the romantic cliché.  Be creative.

Buying something is easy.  Everybody can go to a store and buy something. Everybody can make a reservation in a restaurant.  Be creative and try to make everything you do a little bit personal.

So how to put in creativity in your romantic endeavours?

  • That can be how you give something. Make it a treasure hunt, put it somewhere on your body, put a surprise message somewhere. We got a whole list of fun ways to leave a note.
  • Where you give something. Do you have a special place, a mountain top, a panoramic view, a beach? A special location can make a gift a much more memorable experience because the gift will be linked to that special location.
  • The story about the gift.  Did you do a lot of effort to get, maybe the gift has a whole history behind it.
  • Personalise your gift.  Engrave something in it, print something on it, there are many services online that can help you to personalize your gifts.

Creativity is attractive.  Put your uniqueness into everything you do.  Your uniqueness is the exact reason why your partner chooses you.

It’s all about having fun together

Girls just wanna have fun… but guys too.  In the end, it all comes down to this, enjoying your time together.  If something seems like super cheesy, but you both enjoy it, go for it.

That is why you match with your partner. If you geek out on Star Trek and want to dress up like Spock and have a date night like this. That is perfectly fine, while that may seem weird to outsiders.

Find each other’s weirdness and have fun with it, discover each other.  Ultimately that is what romance is, having so much fun with each other that you just longing to be with one another.